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Parents Stories

Born Still: One mom shares her daughter’s story in honor of Bereaved Parents Awareness Month

July 22, 2023

Owlet's mission is to empower parents to give care at home.

Owlet Cares supports our overall mission through advocacy, charitable and research initiatives that support families and communities. We partner with nonprofits all over the world who share in our vision to reach every baby and every parent. We also stand with and support parents who have lost children.

In honor of Bereaved Parents Awareness Month, we are featuring one of our nonprofit partners, No Foot Too Small - an organization on a mission to celebrate angels, unite families, and build birthing and bereavement suites. Becca Vogl sits on their Board of Directors and shares her unique story of loss, and how organizations like No Foot Too Small support parents through their unique grief journeys.

In Becca’s own words, here is her story.

By: Becca Vogl

July is National Bereaved Parents Awareness Month, and it also happens to be the month that my daughter was stillborn in 2016.

At 38 weeks gestation, we arrived for a scheduled induction. 30 minutes later, my entire world collapsed. 3 nurses searched for Vivianne’s heartbeat, and the silence was deafening. 13 hours of labor later, I birthed the most beautiful girl I have ever seen. The opportunity to write this on the week of her Birthday feels like an unexpected and welcomed gift from her.

This month is dedicated to a parent’s journey through life and grief after the loss of a child. The grief that comes from losing a child can be deeply isolating, guilt & shame ridden, and all around… heavy. It is all consuming. You lose a piece of you.

Now, all loss is different. No love between people is identical, and so no grief is either. But I think some of the isolation that follows child loss stems from the fact that you miss someone so deeply, and it’s someone that no one else knew. At least not like you did. They might have shared hope with you for that little life, but they don’t have memories. Not in the way people do when you lose someone much later in life. Oftentimes with loss, you can hear about other people's experiences and fond memories with your loved one, they can share in the pain with you more, they help you keep that person's memory alive. That, I know, is the deepest fear of mine and of all other loss parents I have met. That our babies will be forgotten. Without the memories, often without one single tangible object, it’s a valid and heartbreaking fear. That is why we speak about them, that is why we say their names. It is why No Foot Too Small exists.

A local non-profit dedicated to supporting families following pregnancy and infant loss - No Foot Too Small is on a mission to Celebrate Angels, Unite Families, and Build Birthing and Bereavement Suites. They have helped me embrace all that it means to be ‘Vivianne’s Mom’. The connections and friendships I have made in Mom’s Support Groups have been life saving. The beautiful and fun events put on to celebrate and honor our angels have completely changed the trajectory of my life and grief journey. I am so grateful. Grief is forever, but it can shift from isolation and lead you to community. You can share your guilt and shame in safe, judgment free zones, and then let it go….

It can get lighter.

*The quotes, stories, and experiences included here are those of the individuals and are not representative of Owlet's views or claims about our product. Individuals were not paid and did not submit their information as part of any paid promotion by Owlet.

Author Bio

Becca Vogl

I'm Becca Vogl. I have a 4.5 year old son, Milo, who is super into puzzles, cars, and those weird Goo Jit Zu toys. I am an Angel Mom to Vivianne Kay who would have been turning 7 this summer! I will miss her for the rest of my life. I am also a dog momma to the best chunky little floof ball - Fitz. I work full time for a local Credit Union and part time for No Foot Too Small. I am a very proud 'Vogl kid': the fifth of six children, and my five siblings are truly five of the best human beings that I will ever know. Our parents, Larry and Vicky, are the reason for that, and I only hope they know what they mean to me. My relationships with others are what fuel my heart. I believe that the connections we make with other people, the opportunities for compassion and vulnerability that break us wide open, and belly laughs that turn into wheezing are a few of life's greatest blessings.