The Double Stroller from HELL

I should’ve known it was too good to be true.

Only light wear and tear, both seats reclined, had sunshades, AND cup holders. Could this double stroller really only cost $40? Lo and behold, when I inspected my soon-to-be cause of such misery, I just couldn’t pass up such a deal. It even had a one-handed collapsing feature! And of course it fit flawlessly in the hatch of my car (unlike some of my friends’ double strollers that were more like mini-suburbans). I felt like I deserved a KSL-classifieds gold medal for this find. Until that dreaded day…

It was the perfect plan, really. There wasn’t much I could purchase in the way of baby gear until we made our big move… *except for what I could take on an airplane*. With 4 suitcases packed to their limits and 4 carry-ons bulging at the seams, plus a two-year old and her nasty stuffed elephant that never leaves her sight, it felt like cheating that navigating a cross-country flight without my husband could potentially be so easy with the help of this double stroller.

Knock. On. Freakin. Wood.

Here’s how it went down:

Fail #1

I brought a plastic cup half-full of cocoa puffs for my daughter to snack on for breakfast (it was the ONLY thing she wanted and I wasn’t about to have that battle at 4AM, alright?!) We got all of our junk up to the baggage counter for it to be tagged and weighed, and surprise! There was no line at all. Good sign right? Well before the worker lady could even speak a word I missed the cup holder on my beloved double stroller and dropped the cup of cereal and all of its contents all over the airport floor.

Fail #2

With four less suitcases to lug around, I was feeling a little more in-control as I headed up to security. I approached the elevator, pushed the button and walked right in. The door closed and I waited. Nothing was happening. I kept standing there waiting, and then the door opened - I was on the same floor. I had walked right on to that elevator and just stood there, because my genius of a pregnancy brain somehow forgot to relay the message that I had to push a button to make the elevator move.

And when the door opened and the people asked “Are you getting off or going up?” I was really tempted to say “oh I’m getting off; I was just adjusting my stroller. I definitely wasn’t just standing here on a stationary elevator for 3.5 minutes.” But the extra hassle of covering up my stupidity wasn’t worth it, so I just said “going up” and pushed the button.

(Embarrassing side note: there wasn’t even room for these people on the elevator, so I had to close the door on them and then proceed up to the second floor. I think I turned 50 shades of pink.)

Fail #3 (The mother of all fails)

I made it off of the elevator (which deserves mentioning because obviously operating an elevator isn’t as easy of a task for me as it should be) and headed to security. Once again, no line! Wow was this my lucky day, or what?

No, it sure as hell wasn’t my lucky day, if the first 2 fails haven’t taught you anything yet.

I walked through the line and the TSA officials waved me right through and said I was pre-checked. They told me to go through a separate line where I wouldn’t have to take off my shoes or anything. They even helped me put everything on the conveyor belt, let me hold my daughter, and I was really thinking my luck was turning around.

Boy was I wrong again.

Oh, and then a flight attendant walked through security, also set off an alarm, just kept going, and the TSA agent said, “man, a lot of alarms going off this morning.”

Great.

Well that was the worst of it. I got my daughter some strudel-cake thing and she slept and watched The Lion King on both flights peacefully. A nice man bought me a water bottle during our layover, saying that he saw me in SLC going through security and thought the ordeal was ridiculous, and that my daughter was an angel. And she really was; she must have sensed that I was about to just call it quits and sit in the airport screaming and crying until my own mom came and took care of me, and decided to be a trooper for the rest of the day.

Aren't they just the sweetest (when they're sleeping)?

Now we’re on the other side of the country and life is finally settling down again.

Oh, and the double stroller has been banished to the coat closet until I decide it’s worth giving a second chance. I mean, I did get a really good deal on it…